When This Time Of Year May Not Be Easy

***DISCLAIMER:  I am not a professional of any sort in the areas of mental and physical health.  I am simply one who has suffered and survived.  What you read here is just my personal opinion and experience.  If you are in crisis please dial 911 or seek the help of a professional.


I have a love-hate relationship with this time of year.  I love aspects of it; rain falling, a fresh Christmas tree, and sticky buns cooking on Christmas morning are just a few.  Other aspects make it extremely difficult.  Though not in the same year, I lost both my parents just about two months before Christmas.  I had a miscarriage one week before Christmas and had to try and plaster on a happy face.  This getting dark starting at 4:00pm drives me up the wall!!!!  I don't think anybody likes it getting dark that cotton-pickin' early, but I digress.

In all honesty, this year I am having a hard time finding the energy and drive to do even the things that bring me joy.  I have plans to bake a bourbon cake but I'm not sure it will happen.  My absolute favorite thing about this time of year is a real Christmas tree.  Growing up that was one constant in our home.  No matter how bad a year it was we always had a Christmas tree; the earlier the better.  It was like a beacon of hope that things would be okay.  This year, this year our Christmas tree barely went up on Saturday.  Lights went on it on Sunday night.  It still doesn't have decorations.  I promised my kids Friday afternoon they could decorate.

What does my carrying on about depressing things have to do with anything?  If nothing else, let it serve to show you that you are not alone in this world if you also struggle at this time of year; anytime of year for that matter.  I see you and recognize your struggle.  Please don't lose hope.  It's out there.  We might have to dig deep, but I promise it's there.

I saw hope in the faces of two of my kids when we went to finally pick out our Christmas tree.  They walked the aisles with me oohing and awing over all the trees until we found the one  they thought was just right.  I knew hope when we had rain a few weeks ago.  Listening to it and smelling it hitting the brick wall were heaven to me.  My oldest shows me hope when they get happily excited about things they love.

Hope is out there.  There are times we have to work very hard to recognize it.  Do the best you can.  It can be coffee with a friend, a walk in the sun, reading a good book.  , It can simply be getting out of bed and taking a shower.  It can also mean having a conversation with your doctor and/or a therapist.  I've had to search my hope and joy out.  I've also had a conversation with my doctor.  If your sadness persists for a long period of time, or worsens quickly, please seek help.  It doesn't make you weak, it just makes you human.