When Love Doesn't Look Like A Fairy-Tale

This picture was originally posted by Rachel Martin over at Finding Joy.

     When I first read these words by Rachel Martin over at Finding Joy, they hit me like a ton of bricks.  It really felt like my chest suddenly had pressure on it and I couldn't escape.  There is so much truth in that one simple little sentence that it couldn't be denied.  How many of you have sat there wondering, "What the hell has happened to my life?"?  Let's be honest, a lot of us have.

     I was one of those little girls who dreamed of a prince who would come rescue from the life I thought was wrong.  I dreamt of that happily ever after but never really thought of what was after the after.  The man I thought was m y prince came and went.  He broke my heart in a big way.  A few more princes came and went.  Then I married who I though was my true fairy-tale prince.  I was so sure about him that nothing could convince me otherwise.  To tell you the truth, he wasn't my fairy-tale either.  He's human just like all the other "princes" before him.  He has his faults just like I do.  I was being unfair holding any of them up to some unrealistic standard of being perfect.  If you want to blame companies like Disney, don't!  There are factors everywhere that can contribute to what I call "The Fairy-Tale Syndrome.  I define it as an unrealistic expectation that one will find the perfect partner and that their relationship will not have bumps in the road.

     It took quite a few years, and some therapy, for both of us to get over some preconceived notions of what each other should be like.  We also had to work on getting over the notion of what we should have in our lives and when we should have it.  Newsflash; you NEVER stop working on those things!  Love is hard work.  Life is hard work.

     Expect that not any one relationship will be perfect.  Expect that you will have good days.  Expect that sometimes a good day is that you made it to the end of the day.  Expect that you'll have days where you laugh with each other.  Expect there will be days when you know you love that person but you don't really like them at the moment.  Expect that love will be multi-chromatic.  Love never lives in just one emotion.

     It's okay to have dreams, but we need to remember to put those dreams into perspective and realize that not every dream will come to fruition the way we envisioned it or at all.